The Babysitter

"Do you care if someone uses our apartment this weekend?"

When you are in the military and you are presented with this question, your mind very rapidly runs through the possibilities of what could go wrong. This is not the question females across the planet long to hear.
"What? Who? Why?"
The response to the "who" and the "why" are critical.
"Oh, uhm, well one of the guys wants to watch a golf tournament that is on this weekend and the only way he will be able to see it is if he watches it at our place."
"Uh-huh...People actually watch golf?"
I am looking at him sideways at this point because he expects me to believe that some guy, some single guy in the Navy, has nothing better to do than to sit alone in our apartment watching golf. Right.
"Yes, people watch golf. It's some big Tournament thing but no one else is going to want to watch it and he really wants to see it."
"And who else will be there watching it with him?"
I did not want my home turned into some creepy love shack while I was gone. Most of what you hear about sailors is true. Sadly. It does make for some entertaining stories but you do not want any of those stories to start out with "remember that time we had the party at your house while you were gone?".
"Who?"
He gave me a name.
Now, I knew quite a few of the guys in his division. They came over, we hung out, I cooked for them. (shocking, I know. That only happened a few times) But the name he gave me did not instantly ring a bell.
"Who's that again?"
"Do you remember the guy from that party right before we left?..."
"Oh, THAT guy."

Shortly before the ship left for their 6 month cruise, there had been a birthday party for someone. I say someone because I still have no idea who the guy was. Just someone.
Once we were on base, we were driving towards the base housing and come across three guys walking. I only knew one of them but I guess all three were in my husbands division. He offered them a ride. As soon as we arrived at the party, my husband ditched me. When I say ditched, I mean, see ya' I'm going over there. Well I had no desire to go "over there" as it was to hang out with people that I did not know drinking things I was not the least interested in (beer, gross). So, I was left with the one other person there that I knew and this other guy. The mystery third guy had already disappeared.
I have had a hard time trying to decide how much information to divulge at this point. I keep writing things over and over in my mind and have come to the conclusion that I will just have to be honest. So...
I, at times, felt like a bit of a parlor trick. Any time a new person was introduced into our group of friends, the guys that had known me for awhile would have to demonstrate to them my abilities. Those abilities being the fact that I could drink several of them under the table. Do you remember the scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark, where we meet Marion for the first time and she's in her bar having a drinking contest with that guy? Well, it wasn't exactly like that, but kinda. Anyway... I would like to believe that I didn't actually drink that much it was just that I was smarter than them, knew my limits and when to stop while watching them continue on all the while thinking that I am keeping pace with them. Truthfully, that was the real trick.
So, here I am hanging out with the one person that I know and this other guy when my friend says "let's go". The wife of the birthday person had set up the "better" liquor (basically, the hard stuff) on this cute little cart. We walked over and stood in front of it. My friend explained to the other guy how good I was at this, and the challenge was on. I matched them shot for shot. We were there for quite awhile before the hostess came over and got mad at us for wiping her out. That stuff isn't cheap.
The evening goes on and eventually I am trying to help this other guy "walk it off" as I was in much better shape than he was. Not having much luck though as he wasn't standing well. He is fairly nice and isn't unfortunate looking so I get out my wallet and start showing him pictures of friends that I could set him up with. He does not seem that interested in anyone I have shown him. He has the most interesting blue eyes though so I keep trying. He was getting a bit flirty. I had a tendency to be flirty myself much to the occasional amusement and occasional irritation (depending on the person and his mood) of my husband. When it is finally time to leave, my husband decides that other guy will never make it up all the stairs to get back onboard the ship. So, kind of like a stray puppy, we take him home. He sleeps on the couch, they leave in the morning, I don't recall seeing him again after that. Then they left for six months.
Now, he wants to watch golf in my apartment while we are out of town.
"Look, I really like this guy. We have become really good friends. I wouldn't ask you if I didn't trust him completely. I trust him more than anyone else on this boat." Those words would stick with me.
"Really, you trust him? He's not going to have people over or do anything stupid?"
"No, I trust him."
I could tell he was being sincere, so I said ok.
We were on the ship when this conversation took place. The rules are civilians can not be left un-attended while onboard. This means you have to have someone with you at all times. It was at this point that he needed to go get changed which meant he would have to find someone to stay with me in his absence. There were quite a few people that I knew and he could have sent out any of them, but he went into this room and sent out that guy. We typically referred to whoever he left me with as my babysitter. So, here I was, just me and the babysitter. Since I had not seen him since that night, it was a bit awkward.
"He told me that you said it would be ok for me to watch your TV."
"Yeah. Golf, huh?" I probably wasn't looking terribly impressed. I added, "There's not much to eat but you can help yourself to what ever you want. It's only going to be you, right?"
"I'm not even going to tell anyone where I am going so that they won't just show up. And I won't stay there. I'll just go and watch it while it is on and then leave.I won't eat anything either."
"That's dumb. You can stay there, it's ok."
"No, I don't want to intrude." He may not have actually used the word intrude, but he was genuinely thankful and a bit shy about the whole thing. I'm not sure what he had remembered about the party so I was not sure if he was embarrassed or what to bring up. It was just small talk and then, my husband was back and that was that.

Three days later, that guy and my other friend from the party would be driving me to meet my dad and my in-laws so that they could take me the rest of the way home. A few days after that, that guy would be volunteering to escort my husbands body from the Bay Area to the valley for his funeral. He would also be helping to make arrangements for things on that end, with the ship, etc. I didn't find that out until later. That guy would be the one standing at attention at the head of the casket during services. That guy would be the one that, even though several of the guys had come down to stay with me at my parent's house for the days leading up to and the days immediately after the funeral, would notice when I just needed to get out of the house and walk around the block with me. Even though it was February, cold and 11pm. And that guy would be the one to walk out the front door at the exact moment my friend was telling me "I know it is early, but you will find someone again someday and I believe that it will be someone that your husband would have liked and approved of. Oh... like him"